Mary-Sue, Edward and a Pizza Guy called Carter
by ApolloRox
Summary: What happens when two mental people read 'My Immortal' and get a CRAZY idea? This is it! Follow the adventures of a Mary-Sue, Percabeth, Tratie, A Gay Malcolm, and a Bi Drew as they stumble upon everything random. NO DAMNED PLOT!, Mild course language, Rated T cause we're paranoid and is most likely to make you say WTF? At times like a 4 year old ADD kid on a sugar rush!
1. Chapter 1

**Ok, guys first 'fic here. So yeah I hope you enjoy it. **

**Just a few things that you need to know:**

**1. Any A/N's are formally known as Edward (I'm weird like that)**

**2. This story is a join 'fic between Moi (ApolloRox) and Penguinstar**

**3. This is purely a crack 'fic - created merely for our sick minds and flamers - created after reading 'My Immortal' (But nothing could be that bad!)**

Hi, I'm Meghan Michel'lina Starlena Olympia Ambrosia Mae Collins,

**[Meg, for short] **- _Yes, _thank you _Edward._

...you may recognise me from the lead role in the more _important_ musicals of my school **[or the twisted minds of such writers, formally known as ApolloRox and Penguinstar]**. I go to Clarion Ladies Academy. In my peers opinions, I'm, in their words not mine, 'The Best'.

Yeah, I'm popular, I get A+++'s in _every_ class, I'm the captain of every girls sport, and I've also been voted _'School's Hottest' _three years in a row!

Not that I'm bragging or anything!

Everyone loves me, I get along with all the populars and all the computer nerds. I have long blonde hair, with natural blonde tips down to my waist and absolutely dazzling blue eyes that change colour with my moods.

My best friends are considered the 'Hotsyetts' because they are the 'followers' of the school's 'Hotsy' a.k.a..._moi_.

Now, as I said before I'm _not _bragging!

I'm _not_ perfect to any degree!

**[and I'm a Mary-Sue] **- _Shut _up_, Edward. I am _not_ a _Mary-Sue! _As I was saying:_

And I am _so_ not an attention seeker!

The only person that seems to hate me is a, excuse my language, slut of a whore, Rachel. Elizabeth. Dare! **[Cue dramatic thunder] **- _Shut up,_ _Edward._

I don't get why she hates me, I mean, it's not my fault she smells like snakes or her hair is so frizzy that people can stick three paper planes in it with out her noticing, or that she had and '_episode_' in the middle of Latin, saying a bunch of random gibberish, in _rhyme_, I might add, about whichever Roman hero we were discussing. But, seriously, who does she think she is?

She just waltzes in here and what?, thinks that she can take over everything, just because her daddy's the founder of Dare Enterprises. Please, _my_ father is the head of 20th Century Fox, for crying out loud. But apparently no-one cares. So at least I know my popularity isn't because of my father.

Speaking of my father, his name is Evan Collins, and he is currently married to his second wife, _Tara_.

Apparently him and my mother weren't married, because Tara is the second stepmother I've had in seven years. The only reason that my first stepmother left, and don't tell my father I know this because he thinks I'm naive enough to believe his story about money problems and all that jazz, please, we're _loaded_.

So...the only reason that she's my stepmother is because the first one left when she found out my dad was having an affair with his old mistress a.k.a Tara. I still try to like her but she makes it so hard. With the constant harassment **[ooooo, big word] **- _I am choosing to ignore you from..._NOW!

...and beatings, but she's my 'mother', the only one that I have.

The real one left when I was born. **[ :( ]**

And we haven't seen or heard from her since.

So, yeah.

That's me.

Now that you know who I am I think it's time to tell you my story...

**Ok, guys let me know how you guys feel! Whether you like it or not is beside the point because it shall be continued. All FLAMES are welcome and recommended - let's see how many we get!**

**FLAME ON!**

**~ AP**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just so you know almost _every_ character is OOC - It is on _purpose_!**

My story started when that bitch Rachel interrupted a perfectly good lesson. We were in maths, and we were studying advanced algebra, everyone around me was taking noted but I didn't need to, thanks to my photographic memory.

While everyone was in there seats, Rachel randomly stood up.

**[That Bitch! * gasp * She stood up?] **

"Ms. Dare, what do you think you are doing? It is most inappropriate for a young lady to stand up unannounced!" Our teacher Mrs. Weasel stated, looking absolutely mortified.

Mrs. Weasel is, how do put this, a plump middle-aged woman, with the same flaming red hair as R.E.D (Rachel Elizabeth Dare), and she is all about doing what's appropriate and _never_ disobeying orders.

Rachel blinked once, and when she opened her eyes they were trained on a shadowy corner of the room. We all looked over to the corner but saw nothing out of the ordinary, and then Rachel surprised us all by yelling at the corner and calling it by name? I think she said it was called Nico!

"Nico, you emo bastard, get your ass out here, _right _now before I hit you over the head with a shovel!"

Even more surprising than R.E.D screaming at a corner, was that the corner was talking back.

**[A talking corner, geez Meg, I think we better send you to the asylum!]**

"I won't! You'll hit me! I don't like being hit!"

" Nico, answer me this. How many times has not only your cousins but multiple beings of existence used _you_ as a punching bag?" Rachel replied, so far I was following the conversation like a tennis match. But I was still a little apprehensive about that voice in the corner.

"Fine, but if you hit me I'm going to China and you can find your own way to Camp!" The 'corner' replied. Wait, what? What camp and how would a corner take her anywhere.

The entire room gasped, though not including me, considering I knew that a corner couldn't talk.

**[LIAR!]**

Out of the corner emerged a boy who looked no older than thirteen. He had black hair, and obsidian eyes. His skin was pale, but it wasn't his natural skin tone, it looked like he hadn't seen the sun in over a year. He wore black skinny jeans, an aviators jacket, and a silver skull ring on his finger.

I must admit he looked _hot_, but that must be the problem of not seeing _any_ boys in the past 4 months of my life here.

**[That must be hard, not seeing any _boys_]**

"Nico, what are you even doing here?" Rachel asked the boy, who at this point was tapping his foot on the ground and fiddling with the ring on his finger.

"Well, Chi-Mr Brunner sent me to get someone, besides you, who is a known you-know-what. Her name's Meghan Michel Starlene something or other.

The most to say was I was shocked, but why would some guy who talks to _Rachel_ want me?

**[Must like what he sees - * gagging * I think I'm gonna throw up]**

"Yeah, well, looks like you've come to the right place. She's here." Rachel him.

The boy, who she called Nico **[Great observation]**

… followed her as she walked towards _me_.

R.E.D stood next to me and faced Nico, I had no reasonable explanation for this. I was trying to formulate any possible way that this could be real, when the boy grabbed me and Rachel by our arms and we were engulfed by darkness.

**FLAME ON!**

**~ AP**


	3. Chapter 3

**Because I am such an idiot I forgot to put Disclaimer on any of the chapters (even though I don't think it's needed) so plz take this as a disclaimer for all chapters incase I forget _again, _cause I'm bound to.**

When I opened my eyes, we were standing on a grassy hill overlooking what seemed to be a strawberry farm.

From where I was standing, you could see a large farm house that looked to be painted blue at one point.

There were rows and rows of strawberries out the front of the porch and from the look of it they were ripe.

But what surprised me most was the fact that there were kids in the fields. There is a such thing as child labour laws you know!

**[Hey, I never knew you listened in class. Considering you already know **_**everything**_**!]** – _You know what Edward, if you don't be quiet I'm gonna shove something where the sun don't shine!_

**[I thought you were ignoring me]**

I was snapped out of my thoughts by the sound of retching. I turned to see Rachel bent over behind a tree.

When she _finally _stood up, she started walking down the hill toward the farm house. When she realised that I wasn't following her, she stopped and turned around.

"Well? Are you coming or not?" She stated.

I looked around for the boy, Nico, but when I realised he wasn't there, I hesitantly nodded.

Walking down the grassy slope I noticed that there were a lot more functions for this place than I first realised.

There was what looked to be a climbing wall, with lava?, woah,

**[No. Not '_woah',_ COOL!]**

… a volleyball court, a lake, a beach, stables, an ampitheatre, woods, and a whole bunch of cabins.

But the best thing about this place was the guys. I mean like, pretty much half of them where either really buff decked in armour or _semi _naked, _no _shirt!

**[ooooo, la tee da – avoid the eye candy sweetheart, you got no chance]**

I followed Rachel to the big farm house, and noticed the bunch of teens out on the front porch.

The first one that caught my eye was a guy with jet black hair, he was tall, tanned, lean, muscular, and not to mention handsome.

**[Do I even _need_ to comment]**

The closer I got I noticed that he had deep, sea-green eyes. But by the way he was making moon eyes at the blonde sitting across from him I don't think that he will be dating anyone else any time soon.

The blonde had her back to me but as we neared she turned to face us. What surprised me the most was her startling grey eyes, like storm clouds, but with a calculating stare, like she's trying to figure out the best ways to kill you if you get on her bad side.

Then there was the couple sitting on the couch at the far end of the group. The guy looked somewhat familiar...uh, it was Nico. But how did he get here so fast?

Anyway, on his lap was a girl who looked to be around fifteen. She had cropped cut black hair, that looked like it had been dyed that colour because the roots were a dark blonde/light brown colour.

Nico had his arms around her waist and she was playing with the silver skull ring on his finger.

Her eyes were downcast so I couldn't see what colour they were but by the look on Nico's face I'd say they were '_mesmerising_'.

The girl sitting next to Nico was dressed in a silver parka, and she had a matching silver circlet in her black hair.

To be fair I'd say she and Miss. Oh-so-'_mesmerising'-_eyes were sisters, or half sisters at least.

She was a punk, decked out in black skinny jeans and underneath the ski parka was a 'death to Barbie' T-shirt.

Her eyes were a bright, electric blue and looked ready for anything.

And lastly, was a guy who looked to be in his mid-thirties, he had shaggy shoulder length hair and brown eyes that looked like they had seen everything imaginable.

He was sitting in a wheel chair with a plaid blanket over his legs.

Well here's the moment of truth.

I sighed, as Rachel cleared her voice.

**My friend has asked if I can post her 'story' on my account, so here it is - take it anyway you want, I certainly took it the wrong way!**

_**Once upon a time there was a kid called bob, bob was a funny kid. He liked balls. He liked bouncing balls. He liked touching balls and he liked licking balls. One day bob found some balls in the middle of the road. He stepped onto the road to get the balls. He looked up and there was a car. And he died. :)**_

_**The End  
**_

**She is nagging me profusely so plz review so I can tell her. I am begging you!**

**~ AP**


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